Forget Whales - Save the Crows!
My fellow Americans and citizens of the world.
We have a crisis on our hands that only you can help avert: Crow extinction.
Yes, crows are in immediate danger of extinction with almost no hope of survival. How did this crisis appear seemingly overnight?
Enter one, well meaning, one man blogging industry, Robert "could I get a side order of democracy with that" Scoble.
Racing to defend his company against the evils of main stream media and several versions of reality, Robert dives onto a hot button with little regard for his own well being and the well being of his stomach.
But alas the torrent of negative feedback came back with a vengeance not seen since the release of Windows 95.
Not one to let stubbornness take root, Robert begins to eat massive amounts of crow. Serious amounts. Enormous amounts.
Normally, mother nature can handle these sudden bursts of crow consumption. The species has survived major crow feasts including those of President Bill Clinton, the New York Mets, and other notables.
But this? This threatens to destroy the delicate balance between crow eating and crow creation. We must, as a society, help correct this imbalance.
Each of you can can help in your own small way. I urge you to immediately purchase suitable alternatives for Robert to eat.
Cans of SPAM, bags of Pork Rinds, and Jimmy Dean Sausage Biscuits are just just a few of the hundreds of items that can be substituted for crow while having the same nutritious effect.
You can send these items immediately to Robert at Microsoft Headquarters in Redmond, Washington. Special bins have been placed at Microsoft regional offices worldwide as well as bus shelters and fire stations around town.
If you're a Microsoft employee, you can set the pace. Please. Exercise one option, sell one share, buy some vegitmite, and drop it off at Robert's office. Share the love.
Let's all do our part to ensure an ample supply of crow exists for when one of us has to belly up to the crow buffet. :-)
As someone whose family originated in Crowsnest Pass, AB, I find this...disturbing.
Ok, upsetting.
Ok, so I have several dozen crows in the basement for me own personal use; I swear officer! I never sold a crow in my life! I don't know how this Scoble guy gets his!
smp
Posted by: Stephen Pierzchala | June 19, 2005 at 22:05
Crows are a protected species in Kansas. That lets the state legislature off the hook. If Scoble moves to Kansas would that be sanctuary or would he be expelled for past offenses?
Posted by: Walt Lounsbery | June 20, 2005 at 12:16